Easter to the Soul April 6, 2012

One of the oldest recorded myths comes from Sumeria and tells the story of Inanna, Queen of Heaven and Earth. After a period of growing, assuming her authority, working to bless the world with the gifts of civilization, courting, marrying, birthing and mothering, Inanna descends to the underworld to visit her sister Ereshkigal, its Queen. On the way down she is stripped one by one of all her earthly possessions: symbols of her beauty, success, femininity and the power she has worked so hard to attain. At the bottom she is met by Ereshkigal who has her hung naked on a meat hook. And there she hangs. But on the third day, with the help of her loyal priestess, Ninshubur, and Enki, the God of Culture, she’s rescued and returns to life in the world above.

This is an allegory of a universal truth. Like all great myths, which are stories about our relationships with the gods, it does not have to be factually true on the outside but is always true on the inside, the domain of the soul. The truth is, whether or not we all agree on the meaning, names or details, this story is relevant to every soul.

Physically, it’s about the seasonal Death/Rebirth cycles of vegetation and fertility. Psychologically, Joseph Campbell saw it as a metaphor for the soul’s empowerment and evolving consciousness via the descent into the unconscious, the experience of powerlessness, and the realization of our strength through facing our disowned shadow qualities. Spiritually, it’s about the universal longing for salvation and redemption through divine revelation and intervention.

To the ego it sometimes feels crucial that we get the facts right, possess the “correct” interpretation — especially the religious one — and reject the “wrong” one. But to the soul, these details are beside the point. To your soul and mine, this story is a celebration of the sacred miracle of life, and all three interpretations are equally true.

Every soul is grateful for the sun which brings warmth and light to our days so plants can grow and we can learn and improve and do the hard work that brings meaning and comfort to our lives. We’re all glad when each productive day is followed by a cooler, softer, moonlit night when we can rest, enjoy our loved ones, rejuvenate our bodies and spirits.

Our souls appreciate the exquisite balance of seasons whose alternating cycles likewise bring times of arising, thriving, descending, and dying. And every soul celebrates when the ego dies to its ignorance and meanness and awakens to its nobility in a miraculous new season of enlightened forgiveness, gratitude and compassion.

Above all, our souls know our ego selves did not make any of this happen. Something far greater, some Sacred Mystery over which we have no control, some benevolent, boundless, timeless Otherness set the processes of life in motion and keeps them working. And when we set apart times like this to stop and think about it, we remember that we are blessed beyond measure to participate in this miracle.

In this season of rebirth and renewal I send my blessings to all celebrators everywhere of the miracle of life.

What Is God? March 23, 2012

How can human beings possibly know the nature of God?  We can’t, of course. Yet ever since our species realized we were alive and part of a vast living Mystery, we’ve been trying. And whether we’re religious or not, most of us have some ideas about this Mystery.  It seems to me we look at God from three major perspectives.

Objective Facts: Using mathematics and tools like X-rays, electrocardiograms, telescopes and microscopes, Science looks for factual information about the mysterious origins, forces, and laws of physical life.

Abstract Theories: Religion interprets the Mystery of life in words, theories, symbols, scriptures, and stories about enlightened spirit persons whose wisdom, compassion, and passion for social justice bring healing and hope.

Personal Truths: Psychology encourages us to explore the mysterious workings of our hearts and minds for insights that bring awe, compassion, and self-knowledge, and to express our experience of the Sacred in creative ways that reflect our individuality.

Until very recently these three perspectives were sharply separated. Scientific investigations took place in laboratories, religious ones in places of worship, and psychological ones in consulting rooms, art studios, and asylums. Moreover, since the invention of alphabets, the viewpoints of religions have predominately shaped humanity’s God-images.

But all this is changing. The universal access to information that technology brings is closing the gaps, and our differing perspectives no longer totally  separate us from ourselves, each other, or God.  In fact, they are  merging into a deeper, more unifying vision. This is deeply disturbing to those who prefer separation to connection, simplicity to paradox, and certitude to dialogue.

However, people who seek truth and understanding above all else find it refreshing and inspiring. Why? Because the newest insights and discoveries from science, religion and psychology confirm the same intuition that spirit persons from every place and time have always shared: that a primary characteristic of the sacred Mystery is Unity in Multiplicity.

Consider the myriad forms of life on our planet. Each has a separate reality of its own yet all live together in one giant, inter-connected home. Look at the variety of religions that have sprung up over the millennia. Despite cultural differences they all speak the same language of love, compassion, tolerance, and the sanctity of life. Look at different individuals. No two are exactly alike, yet we all share the same matter, physiological systems, instinctual drives, and archetypal inheritance. And all our parts work together to help our bodies and species thrive.

Three perspectives; one Mystery. A Holy Trinity as it were. Unity in Multiplicity.

I can think of nothing more sacred than the miracle of life. Without it there would be no science, religion, or psychology. No miracles, healing, or compassion. No people with ideas about God. No God. If the nature of God is expressed in Unity in Multiplicity and we are each living, breathing participants in that Unity, then we are in God and God is in us. I wonder how things would be different if more of us shared this image of God.

Is Self-Discovery Selfish? March 20, 2012

“The struggle to know who I am, in truth and in spirit, is the spiritual quest.” ~Ravi Ravindra

I know people who find what they call “navel gazing” distasteful because of the apparent emphasis on “me, myself and I.” What they don’t realize is that self-discovery is often a response to problematic relationships that pays off big time by creating healthier ones. As J. Krishnamurti has said, “Self-knowledge is obviously a process, not an end in itself; and to know oneself, one must be aware of oneself in action, which is relationship.  You discover yourself, not in isolation, not in withdrawal, but in relationship, in relationship to society, to your wife, your husband, your brother, to man…”

We all contain a drive for self-preservation and a drive for species-preservation. Finding satisfaction and pleasure in life is a function of developing both. The drive for self-preservation motivates us to maintain and promote our individuality in ways that make our lives safer and more comfortable. The drive for species-preservation motivates us to care about others and connect with them in ways that maintain and promote the survival, rights, authority, creativity, individuality, well-being, and prospering of others. In essence, it enables us to create and maintain relationships.

Because of women’s ability to give birth and nourish new life, the drive for species-preservation is universally associated with the irresistible and magnetic, yet deeply feared, anima archetype. She is our inner “sacred feminine,” for whom the consummate accomplishment is to become completed through intimate, loving relationships which enable us to experience ecstatic union with otherness.

I believe our failure to bring the sacred value of the anima into collective awareness is the underlying reason for today’s most pressing problems in every institution of society. In families it is the reason for the lack of love, compassion and understanding which typifies difficult relationships. In education it is responsible for our failure to nourish original, creative thinking. In business it explains the prevalence of greed and the lack of integrity and moral conscience in Wall Street, advertising, banking, and many large corporations. In government it is responsible for dominator political systems and divisive polarization. In religion it causes dwindling memberships and global strife.

Self-discovery does not create these problems; it resolves them. As anyone who persists on the spiritual path of self-exploration can tell you, as you learn more about yourself you increasingly experience reconciliation: reconciliation between self and others, between heaven and earth, masculine and feminine, and God the Father and God the Mother.  In short, this path ultimately leads to meaningful and lasting relationships with everyone and everything.

The only danger of a spiritual path that emphasizes self-development is the tendency to isolate ourselves and withdraw from relationships. In essence, this is tantamount to aligning ourselves with the masculine drive and keeping our distance from the feminine. We might be making good progress with accepting our shadows, discovering our passions, healing ourselves, and creating spiritual meaning, but if we are not also actively working to reconcile ourselves with others in healthy, love-filled relationships— especially those others with whom we are most intimate—we have a way to go before we can hope to approach psychological wholeness or spiritual maturity.

The Bridge to Wholeness March 6, 2012

Myths describe humanity’s relationship to the gods and goddesses who we perceive to be far superior to our puny, flawed selves. Throughout history every culture of which we have any record told stories about how the world was created and by whom, where we came from, how we pleased and disappointed our deities, what is good and what is evil, how we will be rewarded or punished for our deeds, and so on. We told these stories to help ourselves and our children gain control over our potentially damaging instincts so we and our tribes could prosper and thrive in a dangerous world.

Over time, our myths and religions changed as we grew more self-aware. Change was always met with powerful resistence from religious authorities, but outdated beliefs are no match for the tidal wave of expanding mind and evolving morality. Then during the last century Freud and Jung founded depth psychology and this new science led to one of the most shocking and revolutionary awarenesses of all:  that whatever the truth may be about the sacred Mystery of Life, our beliefs about it originate in us. We create the gods and goddess in our own images. We write the sacred scriptures and interpret them from our biases.

What are we to do with this knowledge? We’re riding a spinning blue marble through deep space, walking on an unknown path in a dark and dangerous forest. Who knows what lurks beyond the bend?  How will we satisfy our spiritual longing and find the purpose of our lives without our old myths to guide us? What lessons did they teach that can guide us to safety? Will there be new myths to lead us to a better place?

We’re living in the midst of a psycho-spiritual revolution such as the world has never seen, and as usual, we’re responding with fear and resistence. The human race has reached the end of a very long youth and is approaching maturity. When an ego stands in the threshold between adolescence and young adulthood it is nostalgic for the traditional values that nurtured it, yet it cannot help but notice that these values did not create the love, peace, meaning and fulfillment it assumed they would. Some of us wonder: If our family and religion were right, why do we still feel this internal conflict? Why do we think there must be something more? What is it for which we still yearn?

Our species is beginning to understand that the problem is not our gods, myths or religions. The problem is us. We haven’t connected with our fullest sacred potential and don’t know how to bring it into our lives. We’re dissatisfied because we don’t know how to love ourselves or each other. We’re unfulfilled because instead of bringing benefit to the world so many of us are still contributing to its problems. We yearn for love but don’t know how to get it. We want to be better but can’t seem to change. We’re not whole and we know it.

For all our extraordinary advances over the millennia, the collective ego is still fearful, divided and incomplete. Our spiritual yearning is very real, but we’re learning that spirituality is not just about correctly describing the Mystery and believing in its benevolence; it’s also about repairing separations so we can experience love and be lovingly connected to everything that is.

We can do this, and creating loving connections—within ourselves and between each other—is the way. All of us will benefit as each of us adds to our self-knowledge, learns to love our own soul, and builds bridges to otherness. Namaste.

Coming Home to Integrated Spirituality March 2, 2012

My dear friends,

This month marks the second birthday of this blog. Writing it has been an extraordinary experience in many ways, but the most meaningful and joyful part has been meeting you. Knowing you are out there has been deeply comforting, and reading your inspiring thoughts and figuring out how to respond has had a powerful impact on my work. I love it that our dialogues have motivated me to clarify my thinking and explore new ideas. Most of all I appreciate how you’ve helped me trust myself and be bolder about sharing my truths, especially concerning religion and spirituality. 

To celebrate this milestone I’m republishing the first post I ever wrote. It’s about the feminine side of my God-image. Initially titled “Coming Home to Feminine Spirituality,” thanks to your influence I’ve changed it to more accurately reflect my fundamental orientation to life: the belief that the healthy evolution of our species hinges on our ability to create partnership between femininity and masculinity.

From the bottom of my heart I thank you for joining me in this journey. Julie, in honor of your birthday I dedicate this post to you.

Jeanie/Mom

I understand that an emerging name for blog is lifestream.  This seems very fitting.  It reminds me of one of the two most important dreams of my life.  This one came in January of 1989.  I had been teaching at a local university for ten years and was growing increasingly dissatisfied.  The previous year I had discovered Carl Jung, joined a Jungian study group, and embarked on a program of serious self-examination and dreamwork.  The insights I was gaining gave me the courage to consider giving up teaching to do something I really loved, but this was a very difficult step for me.  Then I had this BIG dream.

Dream #155:”Going Against the Current.”

I’m walking downstream in a wide, rushing river beside a rocky bank.  People are shooting by on rafts and I wonder how they keep from bashing themselves against the rocks. I decide to go back upstream and walk in water up to my chin.  The bottom is rough and rocky.  I reach up and hold onto some thin, flimsy branches sticking out over the water. This helps a little, but soon there are no more and I have to go on unaided.  As I near the last turn , suddenly there are thousands of people in front of me, all heading downstream.  I’m in the midst of them, trying to make my way back upstream to the place I’m supposed to be – my base camp.  Friendly people press in on every side.  Sometimes I gently touch a head or shoulder to propel myself forward. Finally, I’m at the mouth of the river.  I put my hands together in front of me and gently part the people; this reminds them of Moses parting the Red Sea and they smile indulgently.  Then I’m far out in the ocean in deep water, tired and afraid.  Will I make it?  Suddenly a younger, blond-haired woman is in front of me, only her head showing above the water.  “That was smart of you,” she says.  I know she’s strong and rested and will support me if I need to float for a while.  Together we head slowly to my base, a place I’ve never been but know to be my destination.

For me, walking through the rushing river represented the swift passage of time in my life’s journey.  For most of my life I had been going downstream in the direction of least resistance, believing what I had been told to believe, doing what was expected of me, and ignoring some deep, unfulfilled spiritual yearnings. But the dream confirmed that the time had come to discover and  honor the undiscovered aspects of myself and God. Like the children of Israel when they crossed the Red Sea, I was leaving my slavish allegiance to the conventional wisdom of the dominant culture behind.  Because of this, I was being reunited with the Absolute (the ocean) and my inner spiritual guide (the blond woman).

I cannot overstate the importance of this dream.  I knew “I” didn’t create it;  it came from a profound source of wisdom deep within. I think of this inner wisdom as Sophia, the Divine Mother, partner of the masculine Father God. The part of her that speaks to me in dreams I call Dream Mother. Because I had the courage to listen to her and change the direction of my life I eventually discovered my true passions—the search for self-knowledge, spiritual meaning, and writing—and they have made all the difference.

With the guidance of this feminine wisdom I’ve decided to take my newest plunge: lifestreaming on the internet.  I hope you’ll find something in the outpourings from my base camp that will help you, too, move in the direction of home.

Ruling the Inner Chamber January 20, 2012

Dreamwork has been my most rewarding and consistent spiritual practice for 22 years. You might not think of dreams as having anything to do with spirituality but they absolutely do. Carl Jung demonstrated this with exquisite beauty in his recently published The Red Book in which he recorded some of his most meaningful waking and sleeping dreams. Everything he did for the rest of his brilliant and productive life was based on the findings he recorded in that book, which represents three years of committed inner work. Ultimately, his conclusion about the value of this work was that to become who we truly are is our spiritual task and the privilege of a lifetime.

Jung is not the first person to understand this, although he was one of the first Western medical professionals to study it for himself and write about it in a way that could be comprehended and accepted by the Western scientific mind. Indeed, many Asian traditions have taught this concept for thousands of years. Consider this quote by the Hindu professor Ravi Ravindra:

“The struggle to know who I am, in truth and in spirit, is the spiritual quest. The movement in myself from the mask to the face, from the personality to the person, from the performing actor to the ruler of the inner chamber, is the spiritual journey. To live, work, and suffer on this shore in faithfulness to the whispers from the other shore is spiritual life. To keep the flame of spiritual yearning alive is to be radically open to the present and to refuse to settle for comforting religious dogma, philosophic certainties, and social sanctions.”

Contrary to popular belief, authentic spirituality is not just a function of how many souls we save or how well we know scriptures or how hard we pray or how many rules we keep or what we believe or how often we attend our place of worship or how much money we donate to the poor. Likewise, spiritual maturity is not limited to a particular religion or set of beliefs. Rather, it is a function of our willingness to further the unfolding of our capacity for full living, endless loving, and authentic being.

We’re supposed to discover our true selves and connect with the sacred Mystery within. We’re supposed to learn how to accept and love ourselves because that’s how we learn to accept and love others. Every religion has spawned mature spirit persons whose mystical experiences and intuitions taught them that God indwells the soul. This means that our spiritual growth is not just a function of searching for God outside ourselves but also of honoring the “kingdom” within. (I could just as well have said “queendom” but it wouldn’t resonate as deeply as this more familiar term for sovereignty. I wish there were a gender-neutral word for the inner chamber that is not one-sidedly masculine, but honors both the masculine and feminine drives of every psyche. Any ideas?)

The search for self-knowledge is a path to spiritual maturity and dreams are invaluable tools on that path because they show us unsuspected aspects of our unconscious selves. These insights heal us and our relationships and bring spiritual meaning to our lives.  Why? Because knowing that we are known and loved by something with far more power than our puny ego, something sacred that lives within us and only wants the best for us, increases our sense of self-worth and helps us live with more forgiveness, integrity and compassion.  If  learning from our dreams how to rule our inner chamber is not a spiritual practice I don’t know what is!

What did you dream last night?

Questioning Religion January 6, 2012

During 2011 I did something on this blog that I have rarely done before: speak openly about my progressive religious views. Both of my parents came from families that were deeply religious in orthodox, literalist ways. My mother’s brother remained true to the conservative beliefs of his Baptist church until the day he died. Late in their lives my mother and her sister dared to ask themselves a few shocking questions, like, “Were Adam and Eve real people? Is Satan real? Are Eden and Hell real places?” but they too remained closely tied to their churches to the end.

My father’s parents were strict Baptists. To my knowledge, Daddy was not religious in their way, but he did attend church and sing in the choir. And I have no doubt whatsoever that his gnawing guilt over having blatantly broken the 7^th Commandment had something to do with his death from a heart attack at the age of 43.

Being raised in this kind of environment naturally had an effect on me. Completely unaware of the negative side effects of my religion, I became deeply “religious” at the age of 17. But the unresolved issues of parents are always passed down to their children, and the more unconscious these issues are, the more powerfully they seek resolution in those who inherit them.

Thus, in retrospect I can see that my most pressing issues are all about trying to heal my parents and rectify their mistakes. The themes of my work are empowering femininity, (my mother aligned herself with the masculine values of “tunneling through the mountain” while repressing her feminine, feeling and nurturing, “river going around the mountain” side); and uniting masculinity and femininity (my parents divorced, after all) in my psyche, relationships, and God-image.

Anyway, back to this blog. When I finally found the courage to write openly and honestly, I discovered to my great surprise that my progressive thinking was not only accepted, but the posts from 2011 receiving the highest number of views were almost always about religion! In fact, my Dec. 14^th post titled “How’s Your God-Image Working For You?” received an all-time high of 257 views in one day! Being surrounded by religious literalists for most of my life had pretty much convinced me that my views would be perceived as heretical by most people, yet every single comment in response to my religious posts has been overwhelmingly positive!

I can’t adequately express just how affirming, freeing and empowering this is. It has given me the confidence to recommend an extraordinary book I’ve just finished. I don’t do this often, but this one is simply a must-read for anyone questioning traditional religious beliefs. Written by N.M. Freeman it’s titled “The Story of Q” and is about the many ways in which people are effected by religion. It’s deceptively simple on the surface, but deeply profound, and although a fictional novel, it’s based on actual historical events. This book is truly mind-expanding and I suspect will be life-changing for many who read it. Why? Because in language anyone can understand, it blasts religious literalism right out of the water and reveals the true, historical, underlying meaning of the Bible and all religious scriptures, showing them not to be about “right belief,” but about opening to the soul’s journey through life.

If this sounds at all interesting to you, I hope you’ll give yourself a special gift this year and read “The Story of Q.” (I’ve already ordered six more copies for gifts.) And please let me know how it touches your soul. Happy New Year, dear friends, and thank you for your readership!

Gated Religions December 27, 2011

For many years, literal belief in the doctrines of my religion (Christianity) was enough to satisfy my spiritual hunger. But the strain of containing my beliefs in a tightly enclosed, left-brained compartment labeled “Religion” while repeatedly coming up against a Mystery that encompasses the entire universe eventually wore me down. At the age of 37 my ego waved a white flag and surrendered its need to feel safe and in control. In leaving the gated community of my religion, I entered a Dark Night of the Soul that lasted nine years.

I returned from the desert with a new way of seeing and living. My mind had been redirected from needing correct belief to seeking truth; from preparing for an afterlife to living now; from pretending and pleasing to being authentic; from defending a God-image of judgment, exclusivity and stasis to embracing a God-image of inclusiveness, openness and change. When I could no longer go to church without getting a stomach ache, I stopped attending. I was by no means rejecting the Mystery, but only a local and, to my way of thinking, painfully confining way of connecting with it with which I no longer felt at home.

Sometimes I’ve been angry at organized religion but I’ve kept most of my thoughts and feelings to myself; partly because I didn’t want to offend or mislead anyone who finds hope and healing in their faith, and partly because I’m simply more comfortable with affirming than critiquing. But there’s also a deeper reason: I’ve been afraid of the backlash. Ultra conservative elements of all three patriarchal religions have a long history of persecuting “heretics,” and frankly, the rabid religious intimidate me with their polarizing prejudices; their obsessive self-righteous anger; their intolerance and lack of compassion; their willingness to turn on those who question their fear-based practices and beliefs; their ability to fire up masses of devoted followers who support them blindly; their indifference to the pain and injustice their inner Nazis inflict.

Peace-loving Muslims are getting a lot of flak these days for not speaking out against violent Islamic groups but are they any different from me? It would be easy to point fingers at them, but wouldn’t a more effective use of my energy be to address the destructive forces in my own religious community? How can I self-righteously blame members of a religion I know nothing about for failing to speak out against their fanatics when I’ve been afraid to speak out against mine? Isn’t that what Jesus meant when he criticized hypocrites for pointing out the motes in others’ eyes while ignoring the beams in their own? As my six-year-old granddaughter would say in mock exasperation, “Peepuhl! What are we thinking?”

When it comes to religion, many of us are not thinking, at least not with both sides of our brains. We’re reacting instinctively and emotionally. We want the approval of our tribes. We want to stay safe. And so we shut down the inner other who yearns for a freer, more authentic, inclusive and compassionate way to celebrate the sacred miracle of life, and we shut out others who are different. But we should be just as afraid of ourselves and our exclusive communities as of outsiders. The real enemy lives within our gates and the true work begins at home, in the place we know best and where we have the most influence.

The world is in trouble. If there was ever a time to think psychologically and live spiritually, it’s now. If there was ever a place to start, it’s with ourselves.

The Secret Meaning of Christmas December 23, 2011

Imagine our surprise when, on our trip to Indochina last fall, our group of travelers arrived in Saigon in early December to find it decorated for Christmas! Windows of one major department store were topped with thick mounds of carved styrofoam snow. Our hotel lobby held a giant blue Christmas tree and a life-sized Santa Claus who swiveled his hips while he sang “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.” When I asked our guide why a mostly Buddhist country celebrates Christmas in such a big way, he replied, “Christmas is universal now. It’s all about shopping.”

That’s pretty much what it’s about for many Westerners too, along with decorating our homes, reuniting with loved ones, preparing special foods and exchanging gifts. Amidst all the bustle I wonder how many of us actually experience the love, joy and peace that is the promise of Christmas, or profoundly connect with its underlying meaning. And what is that meaning? To understand it we need the symbolic language of mythos.

The Christmas story takes place in a stable filled with animals at the Winter Solstice, the darkest time of year. Throughout the world, a common association for the symbol of darkness is our own instinctual animal nature and all the ignorance, chaos, and moral irresponsibility that goes with it. Psychologically, this setting is a reference to unconsciousness, the state in which we all begin our lives and often end them as well.

The plot centers around a virgin who gives birth to a baby boy. Virgins and babies symbolize innocence and the abundance of undeveloped possibilities, like the pure state of a soul ready to receive Spirit. Birth represents new life with its potential for growth. And is there significance in the fact that the baby is a boy? Yes. Mary, like the Hindu goddess Durga, symbolizes the feminine source of all energy, and Jesus represents an extraordinarily hopeful new masculine form of ego-life that has manifested from the maternal matrix. From a psychological perspective, the significance of Jesus is that 2,000 years ago he introduced into the Middle-Eastern world an unprecedented (for that place and time) new capacity for a deeply personal, intimate experience of the Great Mystery of life.

At the end of the story three (the number of forward movement that overcomes duality) kings (the masculine principle, sovereignty, and worldly power) arrive after a long and arduous trek from the Far East. Guided by a star, (stars are attributes of all Queens of Heaven and represent the highest attainment, the presence of divinity, hope and light), they bring rare and precious gifts for the tiny baby. The kings symbolize the hard work of individuation and the religious outlook of unified consciousness it brings. This way of being sees the sacredness in everything and reveres every form of life down to the smallest and seemingly least important. Finally, the word Christ is a translation from the Hebrew word messiah. A messiah is a redeemer, someone who will improve the state of humanity and the world.

Like the myths of every religion, the value of this story does not hinge on external fact, but psychological truth. Christ mass celebrates a momentous evolutionary leap forward in consciousness from a primitive, instinctual, self-serving survival mentality into an advanced self-awareness capable of self-control and compassionate living. The secret meaning of Christmas is this:  

Like the spirit man Jesus, you and I can experience a rebirth into an expanded level of consciousness capable of  improving the state of humanity and the world!

May the enlightenment of your mind be quickened during this holiday season, and may the love in your heart be abundant and overflowing.  Merry Christmas.

The True Hero’s Journey December 20, 2011

At the age of ten I dreamed the Lone Ranger shot me. This big dream about my hero was more real than any other I’ve ever had. I was devastated to think he hated me so much he wanted to kill me and I couldn’t understand why. I had practically worshiped him, his beautiful horse Silver, and his trusty partner Tonto; yet he shot me! The injustice of this was intolerable!

One thing I’ve come to understand is that this dream spoke to my childhood image of God as a heroic male and my growing sense that I was unworthy because I was a female. In 195o’s America God was a He, history was still about males, and females could not be bosses, ministers, presidents or heroes.

That new awareness was very painful to my ten-year-old heart, and I tried my best to suppress it for many years; but ultimately, belatedly, it forced me to take myself as seriously as I took my loved ones, to search for my truths, and to connect with God in ways that were personally meaningful instead of entrusting this most crucial of my soul’s tasks to others — especially others who did not value me because of my gender. It also inspired my creativity. My struggle to understand and empower femininity and the feminine side of the Sacred Mystery is at the core of everything I write.

A second message of this dream was the inevitability of death. While being alone most of the time I wasn’t in school or church seemed normal to me at ten, my dream said that unconsciously I was feeling very vulnerable and insecure. I could be left alone to make my way through a dangerous world, I could be victimized, I could die. When my father died a few months later this suspicion became a certainty and my trust in my hero/God was shattered. Apparently I knew something no one else did: the heavenly hero everyone thought of as perfect was secretly untrustworthy, unjust and cruel.

I tried to repress this awareness too, but it was nevertheless a bedrock reality that fueled my determination to do everything I could to stay on God’s good side! Ignoring my wounded Persephone, I concentrated on developing my Athena, the brave, noble and wise defender of patriarchy! And I got pretty good at being heroic in the outer world of ambition, achievement and work.

So it was a bit of a shock to realize at mid-life was that I was copying a surface version of the hero myth  that emphasizes external trappings of power and success and ignores the inner life. Beneath the image of the independent, white-hatted cowboy on a white horse who rides off in search of bad buys to kill with his silver bullets is a much deeper meaning that is also the deeper meaning of  every authentic religion: True heroism, the kind that lasts and makes a difference in the world, is the ability to rein in the ego, lasso and befriend our shadow, learn compassion, and embolden our true Self so we can care for others in ways that are beneficial to all. In conforming to a mold that didn’t honor my inner realities I was betraying myself and the Great Mystery we call God.

Here is the message I want to convey:  We don’t have to settle for dysfunctional God-images or self-images. Acquiring the consciousness to recognize our wounds and complete our souls so we can serve our communities with compassion is the true Hero’s Journey. This is a spiritual path anyone can take.