Matrignosis: A Blog About Inner Wisdom

Think Pyschologically; Live Spiritually

Blog Tour for Wednesday, April 10, 2013 April 10, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — jeanraffa @ 12:01 am

Here we are on the third day of my 5-day blog tour.  For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, I’m foregoing my usual twice-weekly posts to concentrate on five appearances at five different blogs this week. You’ll be notified of each  virtual”appearance” (in the form of a written post has been tailored to the theme and audience of the site on which it appears) here at Matrignosis with a brief daily update to let you know where that day’s blog tour post can be found.  If you want to visit the first two posts of the tour, just scroll down here to see my explanatory updates from yesterday and the day before. They contain the links to the sites.

The first update was on Monday, April 8.  It also contains information about a giveaway I’m featuring on my website. All you have to do is register and you may be one of the three random choices that will be made at the end of the week. The selections will be made by forces beyond my control! The giveaway is operated by software that my webmaster installed and I haven’t the slightest idea how it works!  You can click here to check it out.

Today, Wednesday, April 10, 2013, I’ll be a guest blogger at Depth Psychology List which is hosted by Bonnie Bright.  The title of my post is Tending the Creative FireClick here for the link.  Here’s the address in case there’s a glitch in the system and you can’t find it:

I hope you enjoyed my guest post at Feminism and Religion yesterday.  If you haven’t stopped by yet, you can still see it by going back a day in the archives.  The title is Incarnating the Mystery with Psychological Awareness.  We had some really interesting discussions you might enjoy.

Many thanks to those of you who’ve been following along and commenting.  I appreciate your support!  Until tomorrow…..

P.S.  I was just alerted to more pictures from the Wilbur Award banquet. You can see them here if you care to.


Blog Tour for Tuesday, April 9, 2013 April 9, 2013

Hello again.  Does it feel weird to get two different posts from me for two days straight?  Don’t get used to it.  I can’t keep this up forever!

If you haven’t read yesterday’s post yet, I suggest you check it out before you read this one, as it explains why I’m doing things differently this week.

Today, Tuesday, April 9, 2013, I’ll be a guest blogger at Feminism and Religion, hosted by Gina Messina-Dysert.  The title of my post is Incarnating the Mystery with Psychological Awareness. Click here for the link.  Here’s the address in case there’s a glitch in the system:

Remember, don’t get discouraged if my post isn’t up when you go there. Just try again later.  Time zones are obviously an issue so we asked the blog hosts to try to publish by 8 A.M. Eastern Standard Time (US). Some may get an earlier start, however.

Don’t forget about the give-away at my website at  You’ll find an explanation and description of the “prizes” there!

I hope you enjoyed my guest post at Cheryl’s Jung at Heart blog yesterday.  If you haven’t stopped by yet, you can probably go today and for several days to come. But if she moves it to the archives, just check the address from yesterday’s post and you’ll still be able to find it.  Enjoy.



My Blog Tour April 8, 2013

jeanie&WilburTo follow up on my dream from last time, I just wanted you to know that I’m back from the Wilbur awards banquet and all went well!  I didn’t forget anything, my luggage didn’t get lost, my hair cooperated, and my dress was just right!!   The program, which included clips and readings from the winning pieces, was fascinating. Oprah won awards for two extraordinary shows,  and other winners were CNN, CBS, the Huffington Post, and the Christian Science Monitor.  I had a lovely talk with prolific author Richard Paul Evans who won a Wilbur for his fiction book, A Winter’s Dream, and plan to check it out. The RCC is a marvelous organization and you can see all the award winners on this link to the event.  Thank you again to the RCC.  Winning this award is a true honor.

I’ll be doing something different on Matrignosis this week. For the last few weeks I’ve been preparing guest posts for five different blogs for a week-long virtual blog tour. One new post will appear on a different blog each week day starting today.  They should be published by 8:00 AM (U.S. Eastern Standard Time). After that they’ll remain in the archives.

Instead of my usual two posts a week I’ll be publishing a brief post here each day, Monday through Friday, to notify you of the blog, guest post title, and link to that day’s post. If, for some reason, the link I give you is confusing or incorrect, please check back. I’ll add the correct link as soon as I have it.

One reason for this tour is to introduce new people to my work. It’ll be interesting to see how different audiences respond to it. I hope you’ll feel free to add comments of your own, and I’ll check in frequently to reply. A second reason is to introduce my readers to new blogs and writers with similar interests, so I hope you’ll linger for a while and check out their offerings. This is a marvelous opportunity to spread the kinds of ideas you and I are interested in and grow the kinds of internet communities to which we’d like to belong.

As a special thank-you to all who read Matrignosis, I’m offering a give-away at my website at  You’ll find an explanation and description of the “prizes” there!

I’ll be back at the usual times next week. Meanwhile, enjoy!

Today, Monday, April 8, 2013, I’ll be appearing at Jung at Heart, hosted by Cheryl Fuller.

The title of my post is Leaping Into the Void. Click here for the link.

Here’s the address to her blog  in case there’s a glitch and you can’t find it with the other link:


Loving Yourself Through the Seasons of Your Life April 5, 2013

balloonrideApril 3, 2013. Dream #4422. Fear of Heights.
I’m in a vehicle traveling up a steep mountain on a narrow road. The mountain is on my right, a sheer drop-off is to my left.  I don’t want to look down or feel anxious so I close my eyes. When I open them the right side of my vision is filled with mountain; the left, with sky.

As we round a curve I see a light brown cigar box-shaped object with a half-open lid that seems to float in the sky. I think it must be anchored to the top of the mountain like a billboard supported by slender poles. I wonder what it is. A viewing facility? An art object? Maybe I’ll find out when we arrive at our destination.

The vehicle stops. To our left a wooden deck is connected to the mountain by a narrow walkway. People are out there preparing a balloon for flight. Someone opens the vehicle door and a small, gray curly-haired dog hops out and trots fearlessly down the walkway. A fluffy white cat is perched regally on the front seat. I understand we’re to take a balloon ride and look forward to it. But I’m worried about the narrow walkway and the cat. I wish it wasn’t with us. It’s my responsibility to hold it and I tell the others, “I’m afraid the cat will leap out of my arms!” It’s not really the height I’m afraid of; it’s the precariousness of this situation, the cat’s vulnerability, and my ability to restrain it. I don’t want this concern to spoil the pleasure of our ride.

I’m writing this three days before the Wilbur Award banquet. The heights could be a metaphor for receiving this award, and Dream Mother could be showing me some anxiety I have about this event. So why the anxiety? I couldn’t figure it out so I called my best friend Ann, a Jungian therapist. When she asked what I’ve been worrying about, I was embarrassed to tell her I’ve been stressing over how I’ll look at the awards ceremony! Am I too fat for my dress?  I hate my hair! Should I wear it up or down? Do I have the right shoes? Makeup? Jewelry?

The odd object in the sky is an important clue to the meaning of this dream. It looked exactly like one of those Hav-a-Tampa cigar boxes I grew up with in the Cigar City. As a teenager I put my jewelry in one. Why was it in the sky? Well, when I lived in Tampa an iconic image on its skyline was a bottle-shaped water tower advertising whisky. It was supported by slender poles. To me, these macho images of a mid-century southern town suggest an issue that originated there in my formative years, an era when Miss America pageants ruled, southern girls dominated them, and masculine values ran the whole show!

cigarboxFor half my life I’ve struggled to break free of gender stereotypes; travel comfortably in my own space between mountain and air, matter and spirit; and write about my journey to heal my sacred divides. And now that I’m about to receive a wonderful acknowledgement of my life’s work, I’m possessed by a teen-aged girl whose trepidations about the prom are conjuring up a scenario of potential disaster! Seriously?

My instinctual masculine side (dog) is full of confidence and ready to go. My instinctual feminine side (cat) is, in typical cat fashion, serenely above it all. But my ego has been beset by a stubborn “woman-as-beautiful-object” stereotype that refuses to die a peaceful death.  There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look attractive, but there is something wrong when it impairs your ability to love yourself gracefully through the seasons of your life regardless of gender, looks or age!  With Ann’s help, this issue already feels less problematic. My talk with her left me laughing at myself, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be smiling all the way to Indianapolis this Saturday and soaring home on Sunday.

See the water tower in the upper left corner?

See the water tower in the upper left corner?

You can find Healing the Sacred Divide at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc.


Feasting at Women’s Tables April 2, 2013

feast1Since I left my job to write in 1989 I’ve always been part of at least one women’s circle with sometimes as many as four ongoing groups at the same time. My Jungian study group was formed in 1989 and our weekly meetings lasted for ten years. The Purple Pro’s, my writing group, has met monthly since 1990 and usually shared home-cooked lunches. This year is the first we haven’t had a meeting because of changes in our lives that make it too difficult.

In 1997 a few women and I founded The Matrix, an organization dedicated to identifying and meeting the sometimes physical, but always psycho-spiritual needs of women in Central Florida. Until we passed the torch along a few years ago, my monthly meetings with five unusually wise and gifted women were deeply growth-inducing and soul-sustaining. 1997 was also the year I started teaching classes and leading dream groups at the Winter Park Jung Center. When it closed, our dream groups met in private homes until my latest book demanded too much time and energy.

For over 20 years I have regularly shared meetings, study groups, planning sessions, classes, programs, volunteer projects, weekend workshops, retreats, dream groups, and food with circles of women. We opened and closed most occasions with rituals. Some, like the five minute deep-breathing meditation before dream groups, became traditions. Others were tailored for specific occasions like Matrix meetings, classes, holiday gatherings, and individual life passages such as birthdays, weddings, new babies, transitions into crone-hood, house-blessings, illnesses and deaths.

The defining feeling running through all these groups was abundant nurturing. This is nothing to scoff at, I assure you! Think about it. When’s the last time you were with a group of people who wanted to nourish each other more than they wanted to grab all the goodies? I’m not saying there were no hurts, disagreements or misunderstandings, but there were only two occasions when differences were not resolved with emotional restraint born from growing fullness and caring. In both instances, the unforgiving women who left were deeply wounded neophytes in self-reflection.

A climate of abundance is rare among both genders in social institutions where an attitude of scarcity prevails. Not even religions are immune. Think about the usual office and board meetings, gatherings around the water cooler, times off in the break room, holiday office parties. How many have you attended where you didn’t hear a single snide remark or juicy bit of gossip? I’ve sat in faculty meetings where scorn for other professors, departments or colleges was palpable. Served on boards, chaired committees, and attended church functions where petty gossip, misogyny, exclusivity, and competition to impress hid behind the thinnest of pious veils.

I know some women prefer the company of men. I’m sorry for those who’ve never experienced the deep sustenance offered by mature and generous-spirited women, who’ve been poisoned by the spiteful gossip of miserable, mean-spirited women. I’ve shared tables with a few of the latter type when they’ve joined one of my classes or tried to befriend me. But ever since I excused myself from the company of rigid institutions and started communing with like-minded sisters, women like that have never hung around for long. I think their wounds have left them feeling so empty that they crave a constant diet of discord and drama, and I have no appetite for this.

There are some desperately unsatisfied and spiritually starved women out there, and it hurts knowing they can’t digest the kind of food that would help them discover their inherent beauty and capacity for love. But there are also many generous-spirited Queens, Mothers, Wisewomen and Beloveds, and sharing my journey with some of them, including you who join me at this table, has been a major blessing in my life.

You can find my new book, Healing the Sacred Divide, at and Larson Publications, Inc.


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