Matrignosis: A Blog About Inner Wisdom

Think Pyschologically; Live Spiritually

To Be or Not to Be a Zombie: Part II February 1, 2013

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERADream #4401: The Founder Wants My Help
I’m with a blonde-haired woman at a conference about wounded masculinity. It’s disorganized and unfocused. As I prepare to leave, a tall, attractive man in a gray suit invites me to meet the founder of this organization. I follow him to an oval woven basket on the ground. In it lies a man. He has a head, a withered trunk, a tiny right arm and no other limbs. His face, voice and personality are normal and vitally alive. He smiles warmly and says he’s been watching me. The tall man concurs, “He has a list of everything you did yesterday.” I think I’m being recruited to join this organization. I don’t want to because it would take time away from writing.

Associations: This aspect of my animus has a lively mind, acute powers of observation, and a pleasant personality. But he’s physically challenged and needs me. This dream and the one I discussed in my last post came on the same night. As such, they probably address the same issue. In the previous dream I met a part of my animus that speaks about consciousness. In this one I met the “founder.”  Does this reference the masculine half of the foundation of my psyche, the Self? He seems to want my involvement in healing the wounded masculine. But why? How?

Healing the Sacred Divide, is about integrating the wounded feminine and masculine into consciousness with a strong emphasis on the feminine. These dreams suggest that the Self wants me to bring the wounded masculine into consciousness and that this will require more organization, focus and “legwork.” Will I cling to my ego’s current standpoint, or will I trust the Self and leap into the unknown? My dream ego is reluctant to leap and I know why:  inertia, my sensitive nature, and uncertainty.

(1)Inertia: I’ve spent years studying the wounded feminine and it’s easy and fun to stay home and write about it. Studying wounded masculinity and making more presentations would require expending more energy in new directions. (2) Sensitivity: Traveling and speaking are stressful and expose me to potentially uncomfortable situations and people, some of whom might argue with me! I hate conflict! (3) Uncertainty: Exactly what “leap” am I being asked to make? To make more speeches about wounded masculinity, or to “speak” more about it in my writing?

I’ve actively pursued self-knowledge and consciousness for 24 years. Before every leap there was always a period of confusion and questioning, and I’ve learned that tolerating the tension of this “wait time” is essential. Our choices are rarely as polarized as they seem at first glance and it takes time to find the middle ground. Guidance from the depths does require choice, but choice requires discernment!

I’m not sure I want to move in new directions but I don’t want to be a rigid, unconscious zombie either. I’m getting a strong message that my scholar/speaker animus is withering and becoming a “basket case” and I can’t ignore that. He wants to do things and I am his vehicle. Is there a way to help him without betraying my needs for alone time, self-knowledge and writing?

I don’t know the answers right now, but I’m pretty sure I need a better understanding of my wounded animus so I’ll focus on that while I await answers. Meanwhile, I won’t be turning down any invitations to make presentations. And if you want to weigh in on my dilemma, I welcome your associations with these dreams.

My newest book, Healing the Sacred Divide, can be found at this Amazon link or at Larson Publications, Inc.


Dreamtime: A Time to Heal July 13, 2010

A while back I wrote about a dream in which my dream ego was determined to kill some weeds. I couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or not. It was the words killer and poison that got to me. I was used to thinking of killing as wrong, so how should I decode this perplexing message? This is an important question that needs to be asked. You can’t just go around willy-nilly believing everything your ego wants to believe about your dreams. Most egos are deluded; some dangerously so.  So here are some things to consider when working with your dreams.

First, look at the symbols. Everything in a dream has meaning for you: objects, words, people, colors, sounds, animals, trees,shapes, the setting, weather, who’s driving the car, who’s walking. Even the absence of something you would expect to be present means something.

Symbols have three levels of meaning: archetypal (the universal meaning expressed in myths and fairy tales throughout the world); cultural (the meanings your family and society assign to them); and personal (your own likes, dislikes, and personal history). Consult a good symbol book for archetypal meanings. Look for cultural clues in the films, books, plays, art, television shows and music you grew up with. I understood the meaning of the weeds when I realized my culture sees weeds as undesirable and I usually do too. They must have represented something about myself I didn’t like.

People and animals show you aspects of yourself. How or when are you like that admired teacher or controlling relative? What part of you is a wounded puppy, soaring eagle, Nazi guard, wise elder, vampire, priest, intense perfectionist, helpful taxi driver, seducer/seductress, artist, singer, lonely child?

Emotions in dreams are very important clues to your unconscious emotions. What is your dream ego feeling? Is it hurt, angry, happy, worried, embarrassed, self-pitying? What event in your dream instigated this feeling?  When was the last time you felt like this in waking life? 

Dream events are usually metaphors about the way you’re living. Running from something suggests you’re trying to escape an aspect of yourself. A fear? A disowned quality? If your car runs out of gas or you’re frantically trying to find food for your guests, in what ways are you depleting your energy? If you’re trying to find a clean bathroom to use in private, what inner feelings are you trying to find an appropriate outlet for? If you’re mortified to discover yourself naked in public, when in waking life did you recently expose the “naked” truth about yourself? If you’re enjoying levitating or flying, what’s making you feel so wonderful, light and “high?”

Finally, consider what’s been happening in your life and look for connections with the dream’s feelings and imagery. Then wait for an internal “Aha!” It may not come, but if it does, you know you’ve hit pay dirt, regardless of what your ego or anyone else thinks. You may not always be able to trust your ego, but you can trust the wisdom of Sophia. She speaks to us still, across the ages, from out of the depths. Hear her timeless words from the Wisdom book of Ecclesiastes:

“To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven; A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal.”


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