Matrignosis: A Blog About Inner Wisdom

Think Pyschologically; Live Spiritually

Two Ways To ‘Tell It Like It Is’ November 21, 2016

White smokers at Champagne Vent

White smokers at Champagne Vent

The tag line for this blog is “Think psychologically;  Live Spiritually.”  In the 6+ years I’ve been writing here, I’ve often shared dreams or traumatic early experiences that shaped my personality and way of life. I’ve done this to demonstrate the healing power of self-examination and self-discovery in the hope of helping others.

Since the presidential election I’ve had a few dreams, experiences, and conversations that heightened my awareness of an issue I’d like to address for the same reasons. I’m talking about the recent spate of angry outpourings from people who have been bottling up attitudes and feelings for years and have suddenly decided to “tell it like it is.” While the social media have always had its share of ‘trolls,’ the phenomenon has escalated since the election, and the venting is usually aired with hurtful language and intent.

A story on the radio this morning: A husband and wife were talking to a relative who was excited about coming for leftovers the day after Thanksgiving because the wife always served delicious BBQ turkey sandwiches. Frustrated, the husband said to his wife, “I’ve bottled up the truth for fifty years. I’ve always hated your BBQ sandwiches and now I can say whatever is on my mind without worrying about hurting your feelings. That’s the way the country is now since Trump was elected president! You just tell it like it is.”

unknownSomething in me seems to be responding to this at an unconscious level. In a dream from yesterday morning, four different men said or did mean things to me. One man accused me of being a sneaky crook when I accidentally bumped into his table and bent to retrieve an object that had fallen off. A second thought I was being selfish when I didn’t want to go where he wanted me to go. A third passer-by witnessed a fourth man groping me, and accused me of being a ‘loose’ woman. In three of these cases I was wrongly accused and misjudged. In the fourth I was physically molested. Worst of all, I couldn’t defend myself because my throat was shut so painfully tight that I could barely speak.

I recognized the husband’s response because I’ve experienced his need to vent about something I’ve repressed for too long. I recognize my dream characters as parts of myself because I can trace their self-critical attitudes back to youthful wounds that left me feeling guilty, as if I somehow deserved ill-treatment. Having no understanding of my feelings or words to defend myself, I held in the hurt. Meanwhile, in the shadows of my unconscious, my critical bullies were gaining power and building up pressure. And more times than I care to remember, I have let it out in ways that were hurtful to others.

Through trial, error and much self-reflection, I’ve learned there’s nothing inherently right or wrong about venting. We all hide certain uncomfortable truths, we all suffer for it, and most of us have felt relief from letting off some steam. But there is a better and a worse way to vent, and if you care about healing yourself and the world around you, you have a better chance of helping with the better way.

unknown-1Venting with a vengeful motive, self-righteous attitude, cruel words with the intent to wound, and the will to win at any cost is worse. A better way is to tell the truth about how you feel and why, to tell it honestly without anger, to tell it for the purpose of healing separations and misunderstandings, and to try to cause as little pain as possible.  I know it’s not always possible, but the least we can do is try. And keep trying.

So here’s what I’ve got:

Jeanie’s Self-Help Mini-Course on How to Tell it Like it Is!

I.  Reflect on my early painful experiences. 

  1. What hurtful experiences, starting with early childhood, caused me to bottle up my honest attitudes, beliefs, and feelings? Describe.

II. Reflect on my emotional responses.    

  1. How did these experiences make me feel? Hurt? Sad? Afraid? Victimized? Paralyzed? Humiliated? Betrayed? Helpless? Hopeless? Resentful? Rebellious? Resigned? Angry? Sorry for myself? Jealous? Vengeful? Other emotions?

  2. How do these feelings show up in my attitudes and behavior today? Record examples.

  3. Why did I bottle up my feelings? Because it didn’t feel safe to express them? Because I learned that way of dealing with emotions from my family of origin? Because pretending to be calm and unemotional helped me avoid conflict? Because I didn’t know how to fight back? Because I assumed I must have deserved the wounds? Because I was too proud, embarrassed or afraid to face what happened or ask for help? Because I thought it would make me look weak and whiny and I wanted to look tough and stoic?  Because my culture taught that ‘just getting over’ my feelings was the wiser, more mature thing to do? Because I was afraid of censure? Other reasons?

unknown-3III.  Reflect on my reasons for ‘telling it like it is.’

  1. What are my true motives? The desire to connect? To understand a different point of view? To help? To make peace? To heal my memories and wounds? To heal a relationship? To get revenge for being betrayed by someone or something I trusted?  To right a wrong? To relieve internal pressure?  To be right? To feel superior? Others?

Surely we can do this better. We’ll never heal ourselves or the world if we can’t.

Jean Raffa’s The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. E-book versions are also at KoboBarnes And Noble and Smashwords. Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc.

Image Credits:  Wikimedia Commons

 

Message To America From a White Horse November 7, 2016

lone_ranger_and_tonto_with_silver_1960I’ve always been proud of my country. As a child, I thought the Lone Ranger, Tonto and Silver symbolized everything good about the U.S.A.: respect for human rights, individuality and diversity, strength of character, integrity, commitment to our civic responsibility to protect the weak, the helpless, the innocent and poor. But if there were any vestiges of that naïveté left in me before this presidential race, they’re gone now.

Never have I ever felt so disillusioned about America. Never have I, like award-winning novelist Barbara Kingsolver, taken a political race so personally. The constant reminders of our collective shadow have been monumentally toxic and I’m sick of it. But I didn’t realize how sick until last week’s dream of a white horse.

Dream #4792:  I’m in a house (my psyche) where several people (inner characters) are attending a retreat. Two persistent and annoying women (parts of my shadow) want my attention and feel sorry for themselves when I don’t give it.  An elder white-haired man summons me outdoors where I’m given responsibility for a white horse (powerful unconscious emotions). Its owner (aspect of my animus) is in the house. He has neglected it so badly that it’s ill. The old man leaves the horse with me. Annoyed at the owner’s negligence, worried and sad about the horse’s condition, I caress it lovingly. When I turn my back on it to go and notify the owner, it crumples behind me and lies there, pitiful, sad, and listless.

That morning the sad feelings lingered so I searched Google and found this blog post from 2009.

Jung & Horse

Mark Wallinger's White Horse Sculpture

Mark Wallinger’s White Horse Sculpture

“There has been a massive outpouring of love for Mark Wallinger’s white horse, the 165 foot sculpture which will be placed at the new International Rail Terminal at Ebbsfleet, Kent. This is interesting for many reasons, not least because public art isn’t usually enjoyed by the lay person, ironic and upside down as that may sound. The iconic white horse has captured something in the collective consciousness, something primal and English to its core. Today, I stumbled upon this piece of an essay by equine behaviourist Chris Irwin:

“Clearly, some link between horses and the human psyche was surfacing. I’ve since learned that there is a branch of psychoanalysis, pioneered by Carl Jung, that tries to weave a balance between the outer world of action and events and the inner world of dream, fantasy and symbolism. A distinguishing feature of Jungian analysis is the concept of archetypes, symbols rising from the dark, deep psychic pool of the collective unconscious where humanity’s common experience is stored.

“Archetypes express a complex of images and emotions that surround the defining experiences of human life. Examples include the Hero, the Divine Child, the Great Mother, Transformation, Death and Rebirth. They are the same for us all, no matter who we are or where we come from. It’s as if they are built into the wiring of our brains. And one of the most commonly recurring archetypes is – you guessed it – the Horse.

Some of my horse books.

Some of my horse books.

“The Horse archetype throughout the ages has been closely linked with our instinctive, primal drives. Jung thought the Horse’s appearance could signify instincts out of control. The horse evokes intense feelings and unbridled passion instead of cool, collected thought.

“In many different situations and in many different ways, horses were enabling people to make contact with feelings they’d buried deep inside their shadow. There didn’t seem to be any doubt that equine-assisted therapy worked. The question was, why?

“Horses, by embodying one of the deepest archetypes in our consciousness, most definitely stir us up. All those things that are buried away or girdled safely up start swirling around in our psyches. Horses can be a direct connection into the unconscious. When we look at a horse, and especially when there’s a horse strutting across the pen in front of us, we see the flesh-and-blood incarnation of powerful forces bottled up within us that we wish we had the guts to saddle and ride.

More horse books.

More of my horse books.

“These are the forces that Jung called the shadow self. We know those forces could take us to our dreams and turn us into our best selves. We also know those forces could destroy us. That’s why we bottle them up in the first place. And when feelings are stirred-up and agitated, that’s when we have the chance to work with them and learn to control them. Horses give us this opportunity. They do this to us whether we’re aware of it or not. But what a powerful tool to be able to use consciously!

“Carl Jung also talked a lot about life’s paradox, and how important the embrace of seeming contradictions is as we travel the never-ending journey towards becoming fully human. Horses, which can both free us or hurt us, embody this paradox. How we handle this paradox in the arena becomes a metaphor for how we handle it everywhere. Only in this case, it’s such a potent and direct metaphor, that we can use it to change our reality. Horses force us to face our shadow selves. Once we do that, we discover much greater freedom, exhilaration and inspiration as we go forward in life.” ~Chris Irwin, author of Horses Don’t Lie

14358643_1430859230264226_4748031632577132298_nDream Mother gave me the perfect image to get my attention. My white horse was suffering the consequences of intense bottled up feelings:  grief, empathy, agitation, worry and self-pity, plus concerns about my recent diminishment of life energy, my neglected need for self-love and care, and my country’s neglected need for self-love and care.

As I write this it’s the day before the election. If Hillary is elected, I’ll celebrate. Either way I’ll be facing my shadow as I get on with my life. I hope Uncle Sam will too. I won’t turn my back on either of us.

A final note: I’ve just read an extraordinary article by award-winning author Barbara Kingsolver on why Trump has not been called out for the horror show he’s put our country through.  If you’re still sitting on the fence about this election, I urge you to read it.

Jean Raffa’s The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. E-book versions are also at KoboBarnes And Noble and Smashwords. Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc.

Image Credits: The Lone Ranger, Tonto, and Silver; Mark Wallinger White Horse Sculpture, Wikimedia Commons.  Uncle Sam Cartoon, Facebook.

 

How Will Your Shadow Shape the Future of Our World? October 18, 2016

the_good_and_evil_angels_tate_blake“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.The latter procedure, however, is disagreeable and therefore not popular. ~Carl Jung, CW 13: Alchemical Studies, par 335. 

Opposites. A basic theorem of Jungian psychology is that for everything we know about ourselves—beliefs, values, attitudes, emotions—there is a corresponding unconscious opposite. This is because we see everything in terms of either-or, good-bad, and automatically disown and repress the less desirable option.

For example, your family stressed the importance of love and kindness.  Growing up you emulated these values and were affirmed for it. You think of yourself as a kind and loving person. Yet, there have been times when you were filled with anger and hate and your good intentions flew out the window. Nevertheless, because being anything less than “good” according to your family’s standards doesn’t fit your image of yourself, you’ve justified your “lapses.” After all, you know how hard you try, how well-meaning you are, so it had to have been the other person’s fault. You were right/good, so they were wrong/bad. Right?

But, guess what. Your “negative” emotions and thoughts don’t go away just because you deny or ignore them. They merely sink beneath your conscious awareness to a place where your ego can’t see them. We call this dark realm the unconscious. As your ego is the center of your conscious self, your shadow is the center of your unconscious self.  Since you’re a reasonable person, your ego is probably willing to admit to a few shadow qualities here and there.  But for every “flaw” you acknowledge, there are many others of which you have no conscious knowledge.

webb_sending_out_the_scapegoatProjection. This leads to a second basic theorem of Jungian psychology: Whatever we disown in ourselves we project onto others.  Those onto whom we project our shadow have a “flaw” similar to one of our own. Jungians say they have a “hook” onto which we can hang a disowned quality of our shadow. The hook can be a minor personality trait that can be easily overlooked or a major one that consistently causes problems for them and others. Either way, we are easily offended by people who remind us of our shadow. This gives us a simple way to see our shadows if we’re willing to look, and provides us with a handy scapegoat if we’re not.

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” ~Carl Jung, Memories Dreams and Reflections, Page 247.

Entropy. A third psychological reality Jung stressed is that when opposites remain isolated from one another, any disorder lurking within them remains constant or increases.  Thus, the longer we ignore our shadow, the more apt it is to cause trouble.  Refusing to acknowledge it when it shows up is therefore not only psychologically ignorant, but dangerous.  Unfortunately, the Western world does not recognize the shadow, either in individuals or in collective consciousness, and our ignorance perpetuates our prejudices, hypocrisy, broken relationships, self-righteousness, crime, war, and destruction of our planet.

images-2“Only an infantile person can pretend that evil is not at work everywhere, and the more unconscious he is, the more the devil drives him. It is just because of this inner connection with the black side of things that it is so incredibly easy for the mass man to commit the most appalling crimes without thinking. Only ruthless self-knowledge on the widest scale, which sees good and evil in correct perspective and can weigh up the motives of human action, offers some guarantee that the end-result will not turn out too badly.”  ~Carl Jung, Aion, ¶ 255.

This election season has pitted two candidates who couldn’t be more different against one another. Never, in the history of our country, has the divide between two potential presidents been wider. Never have so many citizens of the United States or the world been so shaken by this ugly polarization. Never has the collective shadow of America been so obvious to all.

Beneath all our conscious beliefs and rationalizations we are being influenced by our shadows.  The less self-aware among us are defending the candidate who most represents their ego’s self-image and who promises to serve their self-interest; and they are projecting evil onto the “other” candidate and anyone else who carries hooks for their repressed shadows.

“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.”  ~Carl Jung, Letters Vol. 1, Pages 236-237.

The only lasting contribution any of us can make to world health and planetary peace is to know our own shadow well enough to restrain it without projecting more darkness into a world that already has enough to destroy us all. One pair of opposites has the power to determine our fate. Love is the most powerful healing and unifying force in life. Hate is the most divisive and destructive.

images-4Hating our shadow and seeing it in others instead of ourselves will set us on a path of conflict and destruction. Owning our shadow will activate compassion, ethical behavior, wholeness and enlightened consciousness.Will we choose to see and befriend our shadow and the people who carry it, thereby serving love? Or will we choose to ignore our inner darkness and hate the people who remind us of it?

Which way will your vote go?

 Image Credits: The Good and Evil Angels, Blake, Wikimedia Commons. Sending Out the Scapegoat, Wikimedia Commons. Witch Hunt, Wikimedia Commons. The Red Button, Wikimedia Commons.

Jean Raffa’s The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. E-book versions are also at KoboBarnes And Noble and Smashwords. Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc.

 

Hillary Clinton and the Feminine Archetype: Part I September 20, 2016

unknown-2unknown-3“The last fifty years of the twentieth century have witnessed the activation of the feminine archetype . . . Like the magma of the earth’s molten core, the feminine principle has been pushing up from below the level of our conscious lives until at last it is emerging into our awareness, manifesting itself as a call for radical change in our values and our beliefs by inviting us to reconnect with nature, soul and cosmos. As a result, our values and our understanding of ourselves and our relationship with the planet and the cosmos are changing.”~  Anne Baring, “Woman as Custodian of Life”

As an American woman who grew up in the ’50s, I’ve witnessed and experienced enormous benefits from the activation of the feminine archetype. This is why the upcoming election feels so important to me. I hear that many younger women who weren’t around in those early days consider Hillary Clinton to be just another ‘good old boy’ in a woman’s body, but I disagree. I know what she’s been through. Despite her acceptance in the ‘good old boy’ political system she’s managed to develop her feminine side to an unusual degree, and with help from Jungian Analyst, Anne Baring, I hope to convince you of this.

“In its deepest sense, what does the word ‘Feminine’ mean? As I am defining it in my book, “The Dream of the Cosmos,” it does not refer to the female sexual attractiveness that is so promoted in today’s world, nor to the qualities of caring and gentleness usually, though not exclusively identified with women, nor to the feminist agenda of the empowerment of women in a man’s world . . . . Awakening to the Feminine means becoming protective of the whole of creation; dying to all the divisive ways of looking at life and each other; being born into an utterly different vision of reality.” 

“The influence of the feminine principle is responsible for our growing concern for the integrity of the life systems of the planet and the attraction to the mythic, the spiritual, the visionary, the non-rational – all of which nourish the heart and the imagination, inviting new perspectives on life, new ways of living in relationship to body, soul and spirit, generating a new understanding of the psyche. The flood of books now being written by men and women responding to the prompting of their intuition and their feelings would have been inconceivable fifty years ago.” ~Baring, “Awakening to the Feminine.” 

For about 5,000 years, the vision of reality held by most of the world has been one of dominance and control.

“As this process has accelerated, nations have come to be viewed as markets to be exploited for financial gain and, if necessary, brought to their knees by financial traders, without a thought for the millions of helpless people whose livelihoods and lives may be destroyed. Politicians debate the radical cuts in expenditure needed to reduce the towering amounts of national debt, incurred through years of injudicious borrowing and promises made to the electorate in order to ensure their re-election. Decades pass as men argue the pros and cons of climate change and only a small proportion of the funds promised by governments to help protect the rain forests of the world reaches their destination. An Earth Charter, which offers an agenda for a different relationship with the planet exists, but governments and powerful corporations pay little heed to it. All this might be described as a desecration of the Anima-Mundi or Soul of the World. ~Baring, “Awakening to the Feminine.”

Baring describes a feminine vision of reality:

“A response to the Feminine asks that war and the creation of weapons of destruction are relinquished just as racism and conquests in the name of God or any other ideology need to be relinquished. If we can abandon our addiction to weapons and war, directing the trillions saved on feeding, educating and caring for the children of the world, the result will be an infinitely better world and the possibility of our own survival as a species. We need to  challenge the arcane warrior ethos of governments which demands continual preparation for war, selling arms for profit and bringing devastating new weapons into being.”  Baring, “Awakening to the Feminine.”

Those of us who were alive in the ’50s and ’60s—including Hillary Clinton—experienced the chaotic beginnings of this new vision. America struggled with Civil Rights demonstrations, protests against the Viet Nam War, and, with the introduction of the birth control pill, an unprecedented emancipation of women. Initially shocking to many of us, this latter development inspired a new phase of the feminist movement that resulted in greater equality for American women than ever before.

Another benefit of this new vision was improvement in the physical and educational needs of children. In the summer of 1965 I taught in the first Head Start Program in rural northwest Florida. My pre-schoolers came from impoverished families who earned a living selling their catches from the nearby lake. In some families, the older kids took turns staying home from school to take care of the youngest while their parents were fishing. A few kids came to school unwashed, with no breakfast in their bellies, wearing the urine-stained clothes they’d slept in. The Head Start program gave those and future children educational advantages they wouldn’t have had otherwise.

A final example concerns the future of our planet.

“Woman’s age-old instinct to nurture life and man’s instinct to protect and defend it, are being extended to embrace and serve the life of Earth. A planet which has taken over three and a half billion years to evolve an organ of consciousness through which the cosmos can come to know itself on this planet may be under threat; our own survival is uncertain . . . Yet, in response to the extreme peril of this situation we are beginning to recover the lost sense of relationship with a sacred earth and a sacred cosmos. We are drawing together in closer relationship with each other, working towards the goal of rescuing this planet and the lives of future generations from our unconscious and predatory habits of behavior.” ~Baring, “Woman as Custodian of Life”

These and other manifestations of the new vision accompanying the activation of the feminine archetype have been so beneficial to women of my generation that many of us are compelled to pay it forward. Next time I’ll address how Hillary has done that.

Image Credits:  Google Images.

Jean’s newest book, Healing the Sacred Divide, can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc. Ebook versions of The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are also at Amazon as well as KoboBarnes And Noble, and Smashwords.

 

 

The Presidential Election From A Jungian Perspective September 13, 2016

unknown-3unknown-2“There is no consciousness without discrimination of opposites.” ~Carl Jung, CW 9i: §178

For some time now I’ve wanted to write about the U.S.A.’s upcoming presidential election in a thoughtful, non-polarizing way, but couldn’t find a theme. I found it last week in this quote:

“The time is ripe for the unconscious and conscious dominants to meet each other.  The death of the old dominant is indicated by the fact that the king is about to die.  This corresponds to the fact that the God-image, the collective dominant of the Western psyche, is moribund.  In preparation for its death, it opens up an ancient tomb;  in other words it opens up the unconscious.  This activates the feminine principle, which had been dead and buried in the very same tomb, in the unconscious.  As the tomb is opened, the unconscious is penetrated by consciousness . . . and a revitalization occurs.” ~ Edward Edinger

Carl Jung believed that resolving the problem of opposites was the major challenge of our time. The problem is that although every human inherits the full range of human potential, we separate qualities into arbitrary categories of good and evil, right and wrong, better and worse. Those we prefer and develop are projected onto our gods and leaders.  Those we despise and reject are projected onto enemies and devils. When we act on our biases we often do great harm to ourselves, each other, and our planet.

In today’s world, two pairs of opposites present the greatest challenge: our conscious and unconscious selves, and our masculine and feminine sides. Since the ‘masculine principle’ of Logos, (logic and reason, objective interest), has consciously ruled politics and religion in the West for about 5,000 years, the ‘feminine principle’ of Eros (caring and relationship, or what Jung called ‘the great binder and loosener’), has been relegated to our unconscious lives, and women and the qualities long associated with them have been devalued and repressed.  The more obsessive we are about maintaining masculine dominance, the more money and power males and traditional societal institutions acquire and cling to, until what was originally a fresh and healthy new development turns toxic.

The King Is About to Die

As stories about the unconscious self, myths often contain a dying king. Death images also appear frequently in dreams. In essence, this motif represents the stage in the growth of an individual or society when limiting old beliefs, attitudes, and priorities must die for continued growth to occur. This is always a time of great difficulty and often of chaos.

The metaphor of the dying king is especially apt in the political arena. Consider the rebellions, revolutions and deaths that occurred before America’s founders were able to free themselves from the control of the British monarchy. Imagine how devastating it must have been to the aristocracy which had amassed great fortunes under the monarchy to lose the New World, an unbelievably valuable asset, to the new order of democracy.

Is it any wonder the British held on so tightly?  Yet in the end, our founders’ need to be free from repression won out. As a result, democracy, a brand new form of government, was born. Of course, the psychological reality that the king is about to die again does not mean democracy should die, but only that it’s time to end the imbalances and injustices which have characterized it so far.

The Unconscious and Conscious Dominants Meet

Presidential races have always been hotly contested and name-calling has always been the order of the day. And even the wisest among us are buffeted by unconscious emotions and complexes which influence our choices without our knowledge. This is why both sides in this race can have such different positions, yet each sees theirs as the ‘correct’ one that will promote democracy’s values of  ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

So what’s different about this race?  For the first time in the history of America, the unconscious dominant of the feminine principle and all it represents—symbolized by Hillary Clinton—has risen to meet the conscious dominant of the masculine principle and its patriarchal style of governing—symbolized by Donald Trump.

The pervasive argument that Clinton is no different from the corrupt males before her simply doesn’t stand up to the facts when her record is compared to Trump’s (check the facts here), or to those who preceded her as Secretary of State (check the facts here). The fact is, symbols speak louder than words. In this case, the fact that an experienced female politician has been nominated to run against a political neophyte who happens to be a powerful, white, billionaire male shows us what’s really at stake in America’s collective unconscious.

It’s very apparent to observers of cultural change that the feminine principle has been activated in collective consciousness. The question is, will we keep trying to repress it or will we open the tomb and make way for the revitalization of America?

Image Credits:  Google Images.

Jean’s newest book, Healing the Sacred Divide, can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc. Ebook versions of The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are also at Amazon as well as KoboBarnes And Noble, and Smashwords.

 

 

What Does It Mean To Be Unconscious? July 5, 2016

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“Consciousness can only exist through continual recognition of the unconscious…” ~Carl Jung, Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious, Par 178.

What does it mean to be unconscious?  It doesn’t mean we’re dull, socially clueless or lacking in intelligence, creativity or passion. It simply means we are so used to thinking and behaving in habitual ways that we’re minimally aware of inner forces that move us every day.

These forces include our shadow (potential our ego actively disowns, both positive and negative), our anima and animus (untapped feminine and masculine potential)and a wealth of other archetypes (inherited psychological patterns and images) including the Self (our core and circumference and our connection to sacred Oneness).

All these entities influence our thoughts, attitudes, and behavior; sometimes for good, sometimes for ill. If we don’t notice and reflect on why we’re thinking or acting the way we do, we miss valuable opportunities to develop our fullest potential.

For example, you and I are having a calm, civilized discussion about politics and you bring up your candidate’s take on a certain issue—say emigration, abortion or gun control—and suddenly I become indignant.  So what brought that on? you wonder as I aggressively spout opinions about the rightness of my position and the wrongness of your candidate’s position.

The more I talk the more justified and self-righteous I feel in my indignation. I might even get frustrated and angry at you. My position feels perfectly reasonable to me. How could you not see things the way I do? I wonder. How could you vote for that terrible candidate?  Meanwhile, you’re mystified by the heat of my response. You might have strong opinions too, yet you have no problem discussing them calmly.

quoteinspirationneverstopexploring01I’ve studied and thought about this issue. I think I know exactly why I believe what I do and I assume any rational person would feel the same way. But the truth is, I don’t really have a clue because I’ve never explored the inner forces that moved me to adopt my position in the first place.

So what has happened? Something about the mention of this issue activated an unconscious complex of associated memories, attitudes, and emotions. Maybe my complex arose from an early wound—a parent’s cruel neglect, a dismissive attitude or unjustified accusation, a traumatic experience at school or church, a cruelty I suffered at the hands of another, a secret shameful act I once committed. Or maybe the issue reminds me of painful conflicts I’m currently suffering.

My ego doesn’t want to admit to anxiety or self-pity or suffering. I associate these feelings with weakness and victimization, so I ignore them. But now the pressure cooker into which I have stuffed my complex has boiled over. The floodgates separating my ego from my unconscious self have opened, my ego is swamped with emotion, and every cell in my body wants to fight or escape. This time, my instinct is to fight.

I don’t stop to wonder why. I’ve gotten so good at dismissing my anxiety as unimportant or unacceptable that I barely notice it. Nor can I see that my agitated response to you is uncalled for and hurtful.

If you bring this to my attention, I’ll deny any wrongdoing and believe the fault is yours. Later on I might wonder if I came across a little too strong, but unless I’m unusually reflective I’ll soon forget the incident and lapse back into unconsciousness. Sadly, my ego’s dualistic resistance to my unconscious self has once again won the day. And I’ve lost another opportunity to learn, grow and heal.

Your-own-self-transformation“The contemplative stance is the Third Way. We stand in the middle, neither taking the world on from another power position nor denying it for fear of the pain it will bring. We hold the dark side of reality and the pain of the world until it transforms us, knowing that we are both complicit in the evil and can participate in wholeness and holiness. Once we can stand in that third spacious way, neither directly fighting nor denying and fleeing, we are in the place of grace out of which genuine newness can come. This is where creativity and new forms of life and healing emerge.”  ~Richard Rohr, Everything Belongs: The Gift of Contemplative Prayer, pp. 169-171.

Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness. We need to explore new ideas of who we are.

Image Credits: Terence McKenna quote,  Thesyncmovie.com. Never Stop Exploring, Quotesgram.com

Jean’s newest book, Healing the Sacred Divide, can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc. Ebook versions of The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are also at Amazon as well as KoboBarnes And Noble, and Smashwords.

 

Affordable. Health. Care. Part II January 19, 2016

affordable-care-act-generic-graphic-hearstLast week I wrote about a friend who has issues with the Affordable Care Act and vented to me in a rather adversarial way. In that post I shared my self-doubt and conflicts about whether I could handle such a political hot potato in this blog with intelligence, objectivity and balance. Afterwards, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that just writing that introduction resolved most of my discomfort. The bit that lingers is just par for the course for this sensitive and scrupulous INFJ!

So now I’ll continue with his story in his own words:

“In 2014 my United Healthcare PPO health insurance policy cost me $213.09 per month with a $2500.00 deductible.  My wife paid $250.00 per month with a $3500.00 deductible, also from United Healthcare.  We are both in our 50’s and self-employed in the service industry.  We pay 25% income tax.  There were no savings or other advantages to purchasing a joint health care policy.  Together, our effective monthly cost was $450.00 per month with $5000.00 in deductibles.

“In 2015 the Affordable Health Care Act went into effect.  My monthly premium went up to $489.39 with a $5200.00 deductible with Humana (HMO). My wife’s plan with United went up to $475.00, also with a $5200.00 deductible.  That cost us $965.00 a month with an effective $10,400.00 deductible!  The policies included maternity costs;  my wife had a hysterectomy in 2004.  They also included children’t dental care.  We have NO children.  By definition, we are a “married couple with no children” and our annual adjusted gross income is above $62,000.000 — the defining line to qualify for the government health care subsidy.  Affordable??

“In November of 2014 I had a bout with gastroenteritis. Severe dehydration sent me to the emergency room in a life-threatening condition.  After being hooked up to IV’s in the ER for two hours, the finance rep from the hospital came in to secure payment for my $5,200.00 deductible. Awesome. My wife gave him my credit card as I was out of it.  Eight hours later the doc told me I needed to be admitted to the hospital because my kidney function numbers were not good.  What they never mentioned was that this hospital was no longer in my network.  I left the following afternoon. The bills that arrived over the next four months totaled $6,000.00 in addition to the deductible. A friend in the medical industry went to bat for me by reviewing the hospital bills. We found charges for services and tests I never received, so the finance department offered a discount for full cash payment. I took it.  My brief visit to the hospital cost me $11,000.00 out of pocket.  Affordable??

“My wife and I have a simple lifestyle. We live in a condo, go out to dinner once a month.  Both our businesses barely survived the economic crash in ’08. We still haven’t recovered. When she had to relocate her business, costs were high, including three separate licenses to fulfill city, county, and state requirements. At the time of my hospital stay we had not taken a vacation in three years.  But we are thankful for what we have and are not complainers.

“In 2016 we received notice that our Humana HMO plans were going up.  Our savings are dwindling, yet we now have to pay $1,150.00 per month with $14,400.00 in deductibles. Two years ago we paid $450 per month. Affordable???

“Options.  We’ve shopped plans through three agents. We have the cheapest plan, a Bronze HMO. Alternatively, we could choose a catastrophic plan for $380.00 a month with $10,000.00 deductibles, but they cover very little and we’d have to pay a penalty for choosing a plan that is not ACA approved.  We think the penalty would be 3% of our adjusted gross income, but our CPA isn’t sure because the law is so convoluted. Our only other option would be to find new entry level jobs with benefits, but our income would be considerably less.  And this isn’t an easy thing to do for 55- and 59-year-olds. We’ve worked hard for 25 years to develop our clienteles and reputations.

“Now our health care costs are the biggest expense in our budget.  While I understand the overall goal of Obama’s plan to provide health care for everyone, this plan is a total failure.  In my mind, the insurance companies responded to the government getting into their business (less piece of the pie) by raising rates to make up for profit loss.  Also, the requirements of the Affordable Health Care Act are too inclusive.  Why would we pay for maternity care or children’s dental?  In the past I was rewarded for being healthy.  I only saw doctors three times in the past ten years, and those were at a Centacare and my dermatologist.  I don’t drink, smoke, or take any medications.  I am not obese.  Now I’m treated the same as an overweight, smoking alcoholic on ten different meds. Really?? Furthermore, with such high deductibles we’re less likely to consult a doctor when sick.

“My feelings are that Obama wanted the Affordable Health Care Act to be part of his administrations legacy; because it was an ego thing he pushed it through at any cost to us. The philosophical benefits to society do not justify crucifying the middle class American. There has to be a better plan. It was easy for politicians who receive lifetime health care at taxpayers’ expense to pass this law without even reading it since it was so long.  I’m angry. We are honest and hard-working. We make our own money and are trying to be responsible small business participants.  But it really is hard to watch the President vacationing in Hawaii while asking us “to tighten our belts” for the “greater good.”  I’ve watched this country go off course for too long and I think the system is irreparably flawed, with no solution in my lifetime.”

1hexagramJeanie again: I invite you to share your story and perspective.  It will surely be interesting and enlightening, especially if anyone can suggest solutions.  Knowing how divisive political issues can be, I ask only that you use diplomacy and restraint. (As if any of my amazing regular readers needed to be reminded to behave with civility!)

Jean Raffa’s “The Bridge to Wholeness” and “Dream Theatres of the Soul” are at Amazon. E-book versions are also at KoboBarnes And Noble and Smashwords. “Healing the Sacred Divide” can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications.

Image Credits:  Google Images. Inner Truth: Lewis Lafontaine in Carl Jung Depth Psychology.

 

 
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